TAMING THE SUBCONSCIOUS
SUZANNE BURNS
SUZANNE BURNS
Zeke carried the box everywhere he went just so people would ask him what was in it. It adds up to more than you would think, the people who ask questions about things like boxes. They are the ones who also ask “do you have a girlfriend” and “when are you getting married” and “why are you crying in front of the Little Debbie snack cakes at the grocery store.”
SUZANNE
SUZANNE
Zeke carried his box to the display of snack cakes where he stopped to admire the clever names and whimsical shapes of on-the-go-treats like Devil Cremes and Zebra Cakes. This rumination, box tucked under one arm, never failed to produce tears.
SUZANNE
No one really understands where emotion comes from. As long as your girlfriend’s mouth isn’t anywhere close to another guy’s crotch there really wasn’t much to cry about. Besides cancer and losing your job and war and how the good ones are already dead, like Jim Henson. And Jim Henson being dead meant Kermit the Frog was dead. Kermit the Frog…dead.
SUZANNE
No one really understands where emotion comes from. As long as your girlfriend’s mouth isn’t anywhere close to another guy’s crotch there really wasn’t much to cry about. Besides cancer and losing your job and war and how the good ones are already dead, like Jim Henson. And Jim Henson being dead meant Kermit the Frog was dead. Kermit the Frog…dead.
SUZANNE
Zeke cried the way children cry. Blatant. Unapologetic. He cried until tears soaked the top of the box he always carried.
SUZANNE
An older woman pushing a cart full of products with added fiber mistook Zeke as suffering from allergies, assumed he was one of those people the store hire to hand out tiny pieces of chicken nuggets along with valuable coupons. Gently she took the box from him and added it to her cart. Before Zeke had time to ask why, the woman was comparing granola bars in a far aisle.
SUZANNE
An older woman pushing a cart full of products with added fiber mistook Zeke as suffering from allergies, assumed he was one of those people the store hire to hand out tiny pieces of chicken nuggets along with valuable coupons. Gently she took the box from him and added it to her cart. Before Zeke had time to ask why, the woman was comparing granola bars in a far aisle.
SUZANNE
Zeke felt helpless without his box. He suffered phantom box syndrome, almost positive he could still feel the cardboard rectangle propped in his arms.
SUZANNE
That night Zeke rolled the sheets right off his bed in a fevered dream. Before him loomed a horizon of boxes. Kleenex boxes. Refrigerator boxes. Those skinny boxes that used to hold CDs. Boxes for private things, like tampons and acne medicine. Without a box, Zeke knew no one would stop him on the street, in the store, on the corner while he waited for a bus. No one would ask Zeke anything ever again. It didn’t matter that he was funny and smart and without one hint of man boobs budding beneath his T-shirt.
SUZANNE
That night Zeke rolled the sheets right off his bed in a fevered dream. Before him loomed a horizon of boxes. Kleenex boxes. Refrigerator boxes. Those skinny boxes that used to hold CDs. Boxes for private things, like tampons and acne medicine. Without a box, Zeke knew no one would stop him on the street, in the store, on the corner while he waited for a bus. No one would ask Zeke anything ever again. It didn’t matter that he was funny and smart and without one hint of man boobs budding beneath his T-shirt.
SUZANNE
Zeke nearly ran to the grocery store the next morning. Once inside, he tore through the aisles with an abandon reserved for housewives who win a free three-minute shopping spree then forget about the really expensive things, like stuffed olives. Like clockwork the Little Debbie snack cakes brought on the waterworks. This time, without his box, Zeke sobbed until he made himself throw-up, then sobbed some more.
SUZANNE
The produce man, hearing the melee, brought over an empty banana box. He was sure the poor guy was smack in the throes of the newest animal flu. Zeke wrapped his trembling arms around his new box.
SUZANNE
The produce man, hearing the melee, brought over an empty banana box. He was sure the poor guy was smack in the throes of the newest animal flu. Zeke wrapped his trembling arms around his new box.
SUZANNE
A banana box with the brand everyone knows and the yellow bananas stamped on each side and the flash of red letters, the swirls of blue. Of course Zeke carried the box with him wherever he went, just so people would ask him what was in it. It adds up to more than you would think.